Oh yeah ..the pile of washed clothes smirked at me first thing in the morning ..they just mock at me somehow and spare every body else.My husband enjoying his morning cuppa peacefully in front of his heavily gadget-ed desk ,too busy to even notice the mocking. The mocking turns into disapproving unappreciative glances, if you have rather elderly guests coming over .Then the piles of clothes, disarranged wardrobes,dirty dishes disorganized kitchen cabinets and unkempt dusty corners and yes the dirty greasy fans and balcony ceiling cobwebs..they turn into these annoying attention craving babes, who will vie for your attention and if they don't get it there and then ..then be ready :D the Tag of lousy home make is here to stay ...
My granny is a perfect home maker , she is more than perfect..I just don't happen to know the superlative. My Mom a working mother , on the other hand struggled with it. Of course she had her hands full with two messy kids, a full time job , no domestic help. Of course, my dad helped but there are limitations Indian men have when it comes to house hold chores and being a perfectionist my mom is ..she never accepted it.
She always belittled her achievements and secretly nurtured this complex of not being that picture perfect home maker. Well I really feel she should know she is much more than that .
During an MBA admission interview, a senior lady professor asked me what is one thing I would like to change in my spouse and I said I wish he could help me more around the house. Do you know what she replied , that its best if the women of the house takes care of it , that why she is called the woman of the house anyway. Now Beat that !!
We Indian women grow up with the notion that the house hold chores are our responsibilities.We never bother to ask Why? I remember neighborhood nighties and chunnis clad aunties getting out of the house to bargain with that sabji wala over aloo ka price , then managing the maids closely so that she doesn't leave that particle of dust under the telephone table, cooking ,cleaning and doing all they can to welcome the husbands and kids to sparkling clean home . There must have been more to their personalities which subsided under these responsibilities. We are bound to feel guilty of cobwebs hanging in the balcony and receiving an unflattering remark about it . Why do we take the onus to just our selves to make it everything proper around the house . If some one appropriates that the house is so well done we beam from ear to ear..Why ? It should be a collectivize responsibility and achievement of the family as a whole.
We are are different human beings and the we should develop the maturity to accept each other or rather accept our selves ..If keeping things in order , if keeping the house spotless , cooking to the perfection day in day out, gives me pleasure , I will definitely pursue this goal with all I have got. But if I am the one who likes to take a day off now and then, who enjoys reading a book more than arranging the cupboard shelves on a Sunday, so be it . If I like going to a mall rather than stay and cheelo matar at home I will do that . The key I feel, is the acceptance i.e accepting ourselves. We should respect our hobbies our passions and set our priorities right.
So with generation, I think this gene has mutated and I have made peace with disarray of thing around. I am OK to be a lousy home maker. I dont mean to say that I detest chores ( who doesn't though ) but I set my priorities. I am ok with replacing the dead batteries in that high hung wall clock after months, I will check the time in my cell ,instead. I wont run to the store there an then to get the stuff , i order online and if I have to opt for maggi some days, I dont feel guilty about it . I dont feel running around the maid is my job! Whats the use of domestic help if I have to go and check every day ......I clean when I feel like . I cook when I feel like. I take my days off and do the things which i feel I ought to be doing for my well being.
So today when the pile of clothes mocked , I chose to ignore and enjoyed my morning cuppa. I went to play with my munchkin and make the best of one hour I have before leaving for office .Its the bat ball time ....its Mamma dominating the women of the house and its gonna remain like this for years to come.
My granny is a perfect home maker , she is more than perfect..I just don't happen to know the superlative. My Mom a working mother , on the other hand struggled with it. Of course she had her hands full with two messy kids, a full time job , no domestic help. Of course, my dad helped but there are limitations Indian men have when it comes to house hold chores and being a perfectionist my mom is ..she never accepted it.
She always belittled her achievements and secretly nurtured this complex of not being that picture perfect home maker. Well I really feel she should know she is much more than that .
During an MBA admission interview, a senior lady professor asked me what is one thing I would like to change in my spouse and I said I wish he could help me more around the house. Do you know what she replied , that its best if the women of the house takes care of it , that why she is called the woman of the house anyway. Now Beat that !!
We Indian women grow up with the notion that the house hold chores are our responsibilities.We never bother to ask Why? I remember neighborhood nighties and chunnis clad aunties getting out of the house to bargain with that sabji wala over aloo ka price , then managing the maids closely so that she doesn't leave that particle of dust under the telephone table, cooking ,cleaning and doing all they can to welcome the husbands and kids to sparkling clean home . There must have been more to their personalities which subsided under these responsibilities. We are bound to feel guilty of cobwebs hanging in the balcony and receiving an unflattering remark about it . Why do we take the onus to just our selves to make it everything proper around the house . If some one appropriates that the house is so well done we beam from ear to ear..Why ? It should be a collectivize responsibility and achievement of the family as a whole.
We are are different human beings and the we should develop the maturity to accept each other or rather accept our selves ..If keeping things in order , if keeping the house spotless , cooking to the perfection day in day out, gives me pleasure , I will definitely pursue this goal with all I have got. But if I am the one who likes to take a day off now and then, who enjoys reading a book more than arranging the cupboard shelves on a Sunday, so be it . If I like going to a mall rather than stay and cheelo matar at home I will do that . The key I feel, is the acceptance i.e accepting ourselves. We should respect our hobbies our passions and set our priorities right.
So with generation, I think this gene has mutated and I have made peace with disarray of thing around. I am OK to be a lousy home maker. I dont mean to say that I detest chores ( who doesn't though ) but I set my priorities. I am ok with replacing the dead batteries in that high hung wall clock after months, I will check the time in my cell ,instead. I wont run to the store there an then to get the stuff , i order online and if I have to opt for maggi some days, I dont feel guilty about it . I dont feel running around the maid is my job! Whats the use of domestic help if I have to go and check every day ......I clean when I feel like . I cook when I feel like. I take my days off and do the things which i feel I ought to be doing for my well being.
So today when the pile of clothes mocked , I chose to ignore and enjoyed my morning cuppa. I went to play with my munchkin and make the best of one hour I have before leaving for office .Its the bat ball time ....its Mamma dominating the women of the house and its gonna remain like this for years to come.
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