The extended ties

Feelings of love , longing and gratitude all came together when I received a message from my mama, saying , he was remembering me, just like that and how special I am for him. I wanted to write a long reply , but only managed to say that I love him to bits.

This bond with uncles and aunts is so special. They are the ones who our parents share their childhood with. So they are also only ones whom I can share the jokes around how mom will look like, with a set of dentures and  stick , when she grows old! and they will laugh as hard as I will on those. 

They are also the ones who loved us from the moment of existence and are equally proud of our achievements ,as our parents are. But the icing on the cake is, you can get Mom and dad like love and pampering minus the nagging, minus the "how you should haves" etc. 

With the generation changing every five years now, sometimes I believe its a blessing to have someone who belongs to the one between you and your parents . On the issues related to generation gaps which are so common today , they are the catalysts between parents and kids . 

At a low point in my life, my parents were supportive and of course soft, it was my mama who showed the tough love, was straight forward and I remember feeling like a grown up after that 1 hr . His struggles , his inputs were very much I could relate to and seeing him successful as an inspiration to work harder.
On the other hand , it was my other mama who had showed me how to love and live life . Taking things light ,work like a duck who paddles harder beneath the surface but is so calm and composed on the outside.

I remember , while I was sick , my masi was there on my bedside with story of merchant of Venice which mesmerized me. I sometimes still remember her voice while trying to sleep sometimes and it does help.She was the one who gifted Oliver twist, Black beauty and other classics to me, She is the sole reason I got into reading.

The older we grow the stronger the memories become . One of those is , how I learnt to make tea from my chacha and i follow that recipe till date .  This was eventually by followed by how to roll a paratha, but most importantly it was the lesson which I learnt early on from him was that one should contribute to the chores irrespective of being a boy or girl.  

I have also been blessed to have uncles and aunts who have been amazing mentors personally and  professionally. While, I took important career decisions, it was them who provided the unbiased pragmatic suggestions and also the space to sit back and analyse if those suggestions matched my aspirations and ambitions . They have been role models for me then and now as well. At tough times , I have seen him standing strong like a rock for the family , there is lot to learn from him.

Today when the definition of family is evolving , shrinking and getting limited and emphasis on extended family relationship is getting diminished , I want to treasure what I have .
When my son does the impression of my cousin, i know he feels a strong bond with her, when he  shows drawings and talks about his friends for a good two hours on face time with his masi, I am assured that this will be their equation forever .
I felt proud when he said his fingers are very small to count and family is very very long :) . Needless to say his list included Bua,bhaiyyas,masi , nana ,nani, dada dadi , mama,our pets and so on . Now, while reciting the finger family poem we include our fingers too and have additions like mama finger , bua finger....you must be getting the picture, it is indeed a cute one !I just hope he may always need extra pair of hands to count his finger family .